Remember last time I told you that I thought our substitute teacher was an alien...? Turns out that, um, he...maybe-probably-most-likely wasn't. So. Don't laugh when I explain it to you, yeah? YOU'D BETTER NOT LAUGH!!
Well, me and my mates decided to do some investigating, because if there really WAS an alien in the school, that was serious stuff! Who KNEW what kind of high-tech weapons he could have?? He could, like, obliterate the school with one of those laser thingies! Not that I'd be complaining if the school got destroyed, but I just didn't want anyone getting hurt, that is, apart from The Stoneman, but then that’s another story... We crept in really quietly to go and spy on Mr. Mars after the whole spaceship incident, but he was just sat there eating his lunch...shiftily. He kept peering out the window like he expected his alien friends to pop round again. THEN! Then Jules said that it was stupid that we were spying on a teacher, yaddah-yaddah, and she STOOD UP AND REVEALED US!! Do you know how DUMB of a move that was?? You NEVER give yourself away whilst spying. Then she just asked: “Sir, are you an alien?”
Then she looked surprised when he gave us all detentions. But, I suppose, in some ways, the detention was kinda helpful, because we got to spy on him even more. But, when we were sat in detention with Mr. Mars, the flashing lights came again! He looked really panicky and then, all of a sudden, the door burst open! It was the POLICE!
Turned out, right, that him and our other teacher had been stealing loads of chocolate from stores and selling it illegally or summat. The flashing lights were the police helicopters and when he was speaking on the phone, he was just talking about brands of chocolate.
I have never been so disappointed in my life. He was just a CROOK, not an alien. Which at the time I thought was boring, because I kinda wanted to ask if I could ride in his spaceship. Turns out all my mates were well jel’ cos we saw Sir getting arrested.
Anyway, it meant me and my friends had all got detention for nothing and to make things worse, I got in to more trouble from my dad. So now I’m miserable and I'm going to sign off. Bye!